|George's House of Cards|
Paul A. Kaplan
Angie convinces George to let Vic in on his poker game. Vic loses poker and owes George 50 dollars, but Vic decides to take it off George's debt for the garage instead of paying it. George and Vic get into a fight over the 50 dollars which results in Vic putting a lock on the garage and not telling George the combination. In the end, he takes the lock off the garage, and pays George his 50 dollars.
- George Lopez as George Lopez
- Constance Marie as Angie Lopez
- Masiela Lusha as Carmen Lopez
- Luis Armand Garcia as Max Lopez
- Belita Moreno as Benny Lopez
- Valente Rodriguez as Ernie Cardenas
- Emiliano Díez as Vic Palmero
- We learn that Vic drives a German Luxury Sedan.
- When George says "Mom, I got the number on your scalp. Six, six...and six!" he's referring to his mom as a devil.
- [George is refusing to let Vic play poker with him]
- George: When you play cards, Angie, it's, like, for five hours. You don't want to play with people who are annoying.
- Angie: Then why does your mom get to play?
- Benny: Oh, Vic. Hope to see you later tonight. Bring beer and plenty of cash.
- Vic: Thank you, Benny, but I do not pay for the sex.
- Benny: No, but you do pay for the house where your ex-wife and her boyfriend are doing it. So you are paying for the sex. You're just not getting any.
- Benny: (about letting Vic play poker) Hmm. Well, let's see: a rich doctor, he can't control his emotions, and he doesn't know the game... heh, looks like Mama's getting back teeth!
- George: The garage door didn't open.
- Benny: That's weird. Maybe Vic clipped all the wires before he put that big lock on the door.
- George: What?! He can't lock me out of my own garage.
- Benny: (sarcastically) No, he can't.
- George: I'm-a get my tools. I'll cut through this thing right now.
- Benny: Yeah, you do that.
- George: You don't think I will? I'll cut through it like that.
- Benny: Yeah and where are your tools?
- George: (realizes they're in the garage) Damn!
- Angie [to George]: It's only $50. Let it go. My dad has done a lot for us.
- George: And we've done a lot for him. We let him stay here when your mom left him. Angie, I went halfway to Cuba to pull his brother out of the ocean. I comforted him when the garbage man accidentally took away his annoying conga drum.
- Angie: I thought you said that was stolen.
- George: Who knows what really happened?
- George: Mom, I got the number on your scalp. Six, six...and six!
- Angie: (asking where George got $17,000) Please tell me Carmen is not on a private jet to Kuwait right now!
- [When Carmen doesn't tell George the combination to the garage]
- George: Carmen, I will rent a low rider and drive you to school in my underwear. [sings "La Cucaracha"] "Have a nice day, sweetie! Don't get pregnant!"
- [When Max doesn't tell George the combination to the garage]
- George: Max, I will rent a low rider and drive you to school in my underwear.
- Max: Cool! Can I go to school in my underwear too?
- George [when he finds out that Vic gave Max the combination to the garage, but Max doesn't remember it]: He gave the combination to a dyslexic fifth-grader. The man is an evil genius!