George's Grand Slam
Episode #
March 8, 2005
Production #
Valentina Garza
Victor Gonzalez


With Carmen and Jason grounded for throwing a party at Jason's and getting arrested, neither is able to do much. But George does allow for some bending when it comes to Jason's baseball career which upsets Carmen and her feminist poet friend who is inspiring her anger. When Carmen questions George about going to college, George makes a big mistake in telling Carmen she has no potential.


Guest Starring


  • Hilary Duff plays a different role in this episode. In "Team Leader," she played Stephanie.


  • Benny: (to George) You always had a problem with reading. You walked out of Star Wars because there were too many words at the beginning. (imitating young George) "Mommy! You fooled me. That was a moving book."

  • Benny: College? That's just a place to get drunk and sleep with strangers.
  • George: So your bedroom is a university? What's it called? U-C-Old-Lady?

  • George: What are you doing?
  • Benny: I'm taking my losing lotto scratchers, painting them over with this silver nail polish, then selling them to the neighborhood kids. I took a "lose lose" and turned it into a "win win".
  • George: Good, then you can go to "Hell Hell."

  • Carmen [reading her poem]: Birds still singing, the sun still shining, this day shall have no night. my soul is a smiley faced helium balloon. I think it's the best poem I've ever written. What do you think, Kenzie?
  • Kenzie: I think if I randomly ate those words and puked them onto the page, it'd be a much better poem.

  • Carmen: Things are pretty good right now.
  • Kenzie: No they're not. You're Mexican. You're in pain. Your people have been raped and pillaged by the conquistadores. I am so jealous.
  • George: What are you talking about? She was born in Burbank. She's got her own car and a closet full of clothes. You want to see a Mexican suffering, come back when I have to pay her cell phone bill.

  • Carmen [to George]: What are you doing?
  • George: Watching the Dodger game. So go discover your dark souls in the kitchen.
  • Carmen: You said we're not allowed to watch TV.
  • George: This is different. This is for Jason's baseball career.
  • Carmen: Well what if there was something on TV about poetry and I wanted to watch it?
  • George: We watch something about poetry every year! It's called "How the Grinch Stole Christmas!"
  • Carmen: What?!
  • George: It rhymes!
  • Jason: I like the dog with the antlers.
  • George: I know, it's classic. What can't you something like that?

  • George: I'll write the poem for you! "Carmen, please don't make me beg; what I'd really like, is some chorizo and egg"!
  • Kenzie: You know what Mr. Lopez, our poems don't rhyme. Because rhyme schemes are chains of bondage on free thought! Chains invented by men!
  • George: (looks under his armpit) You know Kenzie, I'm betting you got a forest under there.

  • Kenzie [to Carmen]: You're just going to wait on them like that? You know they're only asking you because you're a girl. that's so sexist
  • George: You know what's funny Kenzie? I ask Carmen something and sound comes out of your mouth.
  • Kenzie: It is so sad. So much head and so little in it. I can hear it rattle.

  • George [to Carmen]: So I guess all those C's you got in school stood for c-c-c-college. And that "D" stood for "Damn! It was almost a C!"

  • George [about Carmen]: Angie, even when you were homeschooling her, she was late for class because there was traffic on the stairs!

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